Losing a friendship can be both quite painful and stressful. Sometimes it occurs over a serious issue, such as a breach of trust, but often it results from seeming carelessness, such as hurtful words. Though not all wounded friendships can be fixed, these tips can help you repair a broken friendship and keep that important person in your life.
Instructions.How to Repair a Broken Friendship
1 Consider how deep and meaningful the friendship was prior to your separation as you prepare for reconciliation. This is helpful if you meet significant resistance from your friend and to evaluate if your efforts are worthwhile. If your friendship degraded over time, rather than over an isolated event, it may be better to move on and let go–unless it was for circumstantial reasons, such as ignoring your friend, that can be changed.
2 Allow time for healing. Recovery varies for each individual and should not be rushed. Additionally, misaddressed issues from the past may have resurfaced once a friendship is damaged. Aim to strike a balance between giving your friend space to heal but without allowing an extended lack of communication.
3 Write your apology or intentions down and evaluate what you have written. In order to repair a broken friendship it is essential to understand the problem from your friend’s perspective. Consider if the situation were reversed if the apology seems fitting to you. If not, determine what additional steps are needed to make amends.
4 Send a written note or card to let her know that you care about both her and the relationship. This should be sent in the spirit of “thinking of you” or a pre-apology and may include a small memento of the friendship. If an apology is needed or expected, this provides a way to introduce your desire to do so. Promptly, follow up with a phone call unless you parted ways in the distant past. This will help your friend ease back into thoughts of your prior relationship and potential reconciliation.
5 Set a time to meet or simply call your friend. Ask her if she has a few minutes available to hear something that needs to be said. This shows respect by not assuming her interest as well as largely prevents a poorly timed or wasted apology. You will either gain a cue to try to repair the broken friendship or may find there is no desire on her part to do so at this point.
6 Show rather than just tell your friend how you feel and find a way to demonstrate your sincerity. If words don’t seem to be enough and the lack of forgiveness is just, ask your friend what it would it take to make things better for her. Express your enthusiasm to comply. If she is unsure, her answer will also help you to better understand her feelings and how to proceed.
7 Realize that both parties may not give 100 percent effort in attempting to repair a broken friendship. It is up to you to decide whether this is fair or not. Depending on the level of damage it may only recover partially or quite slowly. While you may need to swallow false pride, there is no reason to endure ongoing demonstrations of bitterness, unforgiveness or disrespect. If you know you have done your best to make things right then the rest is up to your friend to allow the repairs to begin.
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