Yet another reality TV show relationship bites the dust. It was just announced that Trina Braxton of the We TV hit show “The Braxtons” has finally filed for divorce from her cheating husband, Gabe. As you may recall, Trina was publicly humiliated by his cyber-cheating, but they both stepped out. Gabriel has admitted to cheating on Trina with numerous women in the past and Trina admitted to cheating on Gabriel — all of which played out on their reality TV show.
I’m surprised the marriage lasted as long as it did. But love is resilient, so you never know how much you can take until turmoil hits your life and you’re challenged by what’s in your head vs. what’s in your heart.
Nevertheless, the drama of relationships that we see play out on TV doesn’t even begin to compare to what people face on a daily basis in their real lives. But one thing I know for sure is that your relationship may be broken, but you don’t have to be. The key is to take care of yourself regardless of your relationship status. After all, it’s your responsibility to make your life work. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?
One day at the gym, I saw a sign on the wall that read, “While working out, make sure you drink water at least every 15 minutes in order to keep your body hydrated.” When our bodies become dehydrated, we can become dizzy, weak and suffer a loss of performance. When I saw this, I likened it to what happens to us personally when we don’t keep our spirit hydrated with what it needs to function at a high level.
Just like when we’re on a good stride on the treadmill, we often want to keep going, pushing ourselves and not stopping for rest or a sip of water. When we do this, similar to dehydration, we become weak, and ultimately we don’t think or perform at our personal best.
This same challenge can present itself in our personal relationships. Have you ever poured so much into trying to make a relationship work, doing whatever you could to push and move it in the right direction, that when you finally looked up, you lost yourself in the process? Your relationship may or may not have lasted, but your spirit, energy, and self-awareness dried up – or got dehydrated. Too often, what we fail to realize is that the more we nourish ourselves spiritually, mentally and emotionally, the better we are for ourselves and anyone who’s in our life. We know this on an intellectual level. It’s putting it into practice that gets difficult sometimes.
The hard reality is some people will take whatever you give out, but the return for you is worth very little. Are there people in your life who take from you constantly, but on the day you need encouragement and restoration, they’re nowhere to be found? Here’s a hint that it may be time to show them the door.
• If you can’t be your best self when they are around, you need to let them go.
• If you have to walk on eggshells or monitor your words extra carefully when they are around, you need to let them go.
• If you find that your spirit feels heavy when they are around and lighter when they are gone, you need to let them go.
• If loving them in any way hurts you, well, you know the answer: You need to let them go!
DEYA DIRECTIVE: Letting go is not about losing. It’s about freeing yourself and others from situations that are no longer working in your best interest. Let him, her, it, them GO; so that you might be light enough, agile enough and available for the gift of what’s next in your life – Go get it!
Deya “Direct” Smith, is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the author of the best-selling book “Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go!” (www.touchmebooks.com) Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker. Find her on Twitter@DeyaDirect and @Touchmebooks.
Your Relationship May Be Broken, But You Don’t Have to Be was originally published on blackamericaweb.com