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A game is something that is undertaken for enjoyment and sometimes used as an educational tool. If you ask me, that sounds a lot like a date, hence the title of this article series. We can debate whether or not dating is a game on another occasion but what is not debatable is how essential it is to discover a man’s motives, especially when considering potential romantic involvement.  Identifying motives in the early stages of interaction with a man can keep you from experiencing heart break in the latter stages. Before you invest of yourself into him, make sure that HE is really the “him” that you need and desire. Here are a few easy ways to figure out his motives

1. Talk

It seems simple enough, but with the rise of smart phones coupled with social media many people are neglecting the art of conversation and that neglect is gravely impacting the quality of our relationships. It is nearly impossible to dive beneath the surface of a person through a text message. Make it a priority to pick up the phone and talk. A phone call often signals a man’s ability to be direct and when it comes to your heart direct is the only way to be.

2. Listen

These first two points may seem a bit elementary; however it is often the elementary things in life that we have the tendency to over look.  It is extremely important to pay attention to what is actually being said, instead of listening for what you want to hear. A secret lasts only as long as the mouth remains closed, meaning, if you let a man talk long enough he will eventually divulge his interests, his motives and his dreams or lack thereof. This is the information you need to make the dating decisions that are best for you.

3. Watch the Clock

Time is our greatest asset in this life. It is an effective indicator of the hearts true intentions. When there is genuine interest a man will be more than willing to invest his time through phone calls, dates and whatever else it may take to win your heart. Time can also be telling in another way. The time of night he chooses to contact you or asks to see you can often be a portrait of ulterior motives. I will leave you with this; the later the hour the more relaxed you become which makes it especially hard to pay attention to detail. This proves detrimental because it is the details that reveal a man’s true character.

Until next time, talk more and with purpose. Listen intently and on purpose, never lose sight of how precious time is and what it tells you about a person. Dating can be fun, but your heart is not a game. So in the words of the late great Al Davis, “Just Win Baby.”

CHECK OUT:  How to Win The Dating Game: Men Respond to Standards

You can stay connected with me and also purchase my newly released book! “If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash” at

words by : Kevin Carr

Also  lets talk via Twitter!  @Kev_Carr